Save me ATL
by Love an' Vain
Summary: Zack and Aubrey had been best friends since they we're seven. ATL then went on tour and left her behind. Aubrey meet someone feel in love, and then sadely well read to know:  Don't know what to rate it:/ M though for drugs, swearing, and sexual themes.
1. Preface

He was gone, he was dead, he left me. He said that I would be his one and only love. He took those words to his death bed, He had only died about one week ago, almost two. Life is so much harder without him. Much more harder than I ever thought it would be. I miss him so much. I loved him, and he loved me. I know he did because he did almost anything for me.

He had lung cancer from smoking so much. He also took pills that weren't prescribed for him. Antidepression pillls most of the time though. He also encourged me to never ever smoke or do drugs. I knew better than that in the past, but now a days I did everything that was bad for me.

I poped five pills into my mouth. I now know why Liam took these pills all the time. It made you feel like you were floating in the air. Not a care in the world. I needed to keep myself in a delusional state, so the memories wouldn't be able to leave me. But the pictures started to fade. I grabbed the orange pill bottle with a shaking hand. I don't really know why my hand was shaking, but I was to fucked up to care.

I poped the cap open and took another pill to my mouth. That wasn't enough though, so I poped another two in my mouth. I was starting to lose feeling. My eyes slowly closing and everything turning black. My body falling through air. And my breathing starting to slow down.

I smile to myself, maybe I will finaly be reunited with him, with Liam. I hear a voice trying to call me back to reality but I was just drifting off into my fantisy world. I was to much of a travesty. I needed to get away from this world. Liam was all that mattered to me and I don't know how to live without him. It would always be Liam and Aubrey forever. Nothing more, nothing less.


	2. Chapter 1

Aubrey's POV

I had a major headache. Maybe all those pills weren't such a good idea. I felt many tubes up and down my arms. There was also a loud annoying beeping noise by my head. I think I was lying down in some sort of bed. The sheets were scratchy and the pillows were hard. I wasn't meant to be here. I don't belong here. Where ever here was. Whatever here is.

I fought against the urge to open my eyes. The urge had won though. My eyes fluttered open as I took a sharp breath in. I looked around and noticed that I was at the hospital. The bleached stain floor tiles, the green curtains, and the to bright shade of yellow walls gave me the hints. But this isn't where I was supposed to be. It wasn't where I was aiming to be. I should have been buried six feet under the ground next to my loved one.

I felt a cold hand grasp onto mine No words were spoken, and I didn't dare look at her disapproving eyes. My own mother didn't care about me before, so why would she now? Was it her at my apartment? Was it her calling to me? Was she the one who brought me here? Thousand of questions came through my mind and I couldn't answer a single one.

"Someone wants to see you." she said. I don't think she even rejoiced at the fact that I was still alive But then again that could be a good thing because I'd be hurting one less person when I'd die and sail away from this formality they called a fucking life.

I felt my mother's hand slip and her heels clack out into the hall. I take a look out the window and noticed it's raining. I wonder if I had died if my mother would be crying right now. Probably not though.

I felt another hand grab onto mine I look up to him, but quickly look away. Wasn't he on tour with 'All Time Low'? I can't believe he was here. He grabs my chin forcing me to look up to him. I feel guilty right away, and tears well up in my eyes. He had gone away with his band and I had meet Liam. He played all over the United States, and I hung out with Liam. And sadly Liam tore me away from him. From my best friend since grade school. From my Zack (Zachary) Steven Merrick.

"Why?" was all he asked.

We sat in silence. I was thinking how to answer him. I was afraid to talk though. Maybe by not talking he'd give up on me. Maybe I should just stop caring about everything. He was the only thing that mattered. I had to remember that though. I had to remember Liam no matter what ever one else said and did.

"Aubrey, why?" Zack asked again. As if it wasn't already clear.

"... Why are you here? What are you doing here?" I asked him back not wanting to explain anything to him.

"I came as soon as I heard because," he trailed off. "I came because I couldn't stand the fact that you would just give your life away for him. You've got so much to live for and you don't even know it," he was angry. He had every right to be. I couldn't blame him for caring too much.

Zack was like the big brother I never had. Being an only child, I was never protected from bullies. That was until some boy dumped sand in my hair and Zack stood up for me. We then became best friends. It was Zack, his older brother Broyce, and me. It was always the three of us. Zack always helped me stay on my feet though. Emotionally or physically. Broyce tried to help and now I thank them. But now Zack was pushing my buttons. I knew what I

was doing. But it wasn't for Liam, it was for us.

"You don't know that," I spat looking him straight in the eye.

I knew I had just hit a nerve by saying that. But what did he know I was doing for him or for Liam? He doesn't! We haven't even talked for months and he still thinks he knows me well? Even though I don't like to admit it, I have changed a lot over the last few months. My world was Liam. And Liam's world was cigarettes, drugs, and me.

Zack tensed a little, and I felt guilty. But I was too tired to even think of a proper apology. "I'm only trying to help you because I know you. Well I knew you before he changed you," he muttered the last part.

Those words stung like a bee. I didn't let it get to me though. I was stubborn and headstrong. I didn't need his help. I'd be fine by myself. Zack's warning we're nothing but stupid side notes that I consider trash. They meant nothing. And they still do mean nothing to me.

I don't know why I was acting bitter about all of this. But I knew how he felt about my Liam, and it hurt to know he never approved of him. Zack and I drifted apart because I chose Liam over him. Zack thought Liam was going to kill himself, and I guess in a way he did. He did so many cigarettes that it led to lung cancer. And he still smoked after that. Two months later he's buried underground, and I'm here. But with Zack I don't know how or why we got along before. We were two completely different people.

"I don't need your help!" I spat as I tried to take my hand away from him. He tightened his grip, but yet it was still sorta comfortable.

"I can't believe you're actually being stubborn about this! Why won't you let me help you?" he said shaking his head. So much disapproval showed on his face.

"I can't believe your starting to hate me cause of Liam!" I countered back as he rolled his eyes with all the anger he could stir.

"Stop it, okay?" he pleaded. "I just want you to find yourself again."

"I know who I am Zack, you don't need to help me rediscover myself because I'm only going to find the same answer." I said. But I knew deep inside that I wasn't the same person I knew back then.

I wanted my old life back and for everything to be okay again. I couldn't bare all this depression and all the thoughts about Liam. It was just too much for me to handle. I can't believe I let it get this far. I looked away from Zack as I felt my eyes well up.

"You should go Zack. I'm just gonna end up falling asleep." I said and let go of his hand.

Zack tried to look at my face to see if I was crying. Usually I was so good at hiding my emotions, but I, well I just had to hide my face instead today. I couldn't let anyone see that I was weak. I had to be strong. For myself, for Liam, for us. I needed to get out of this hospital. I felt like as if it was a prison and I was a prisoner.

I was discharged from the hospital a week later. I refused to answer any questions that were asked. I found out it was actually Zack who found me at my apartment. I would thank him eventually.

For now I was back at my mother's. I got my old room and well just had to be watched over I guess. I wasn't trusted to live by myself anymore. I started to hear voices downstairs. Was my mom and Zack talking about me? I opened the door and tiptoed to the top of the stairs. I sat on the top step and listened closely.

"I think it'll be good for her. I mean she'll get away from here, and just get a fresh start," Zack said to my mother.

"Zack, if she tried to kill herself because she lost something she loved dearly, what's moving to Baltimore going to do? For all I know when she comes back she'll be doing drugs and smoking and-"

"I'll watch over her like I always have. You don't need to worry Mrs. Grennce," Zack said sincerely.

Wait their talking about me moving to Baltimore? I can't! I'm well adjusted here, and moving would just not help me. I can't move there. It'll be to far from Liam. I don't wanna forget everything I've known and learned here. They think it'd be best for me though. Well Zack at least thinks it'll be best. I just, U don't know. I guess it's just I'd be empty without these memories that haunt me everyday. I know that sounds twisted but it's true.

"Zack, I don't know. I'm so worried about her. And I was thinking of maybe checking her into a-"

"She's not crazy Mrs. Greence," Zack stated furiously. I had never seen him disrespect my mother or anyone older than him. And he was trying he's hardest not to disrespect her. "She just needs time to move on."

I had heard enough by now and retreated to my room. I shut the door quietly and headed to the edge of my bed. I cried into my hands as I thought of Liam. It had only been a week since the burial. I wasn't aloud to go though. His mother thought I made him smoke and do drugs, but I didn't. If anything I tried to stop him.

I heard a knock at the door and quickly wiped away my tears. I refuse to let anyone see me cry. It just shows that I'm as weak as any other human. But I won't show weakness for Liam. I know if he was here, he'd laugh at me for crying. I put my memories aside and walk to my door.

"Aubrey, sweetie can I talk to you?" my mother asked.

"Sure, what do you wanna talk about?" I asked going back to the edge of my bed. My mother sat next to me and grabbed my hands.

"Aubrey what do you think about moving to California with Zack?" she asked tightening her grip.

"I'm not really sure mom. I mean, it's just…" I trialed off thinking about my options. One, I could stay with my mom until she brought me to a mental hospital. Or two, I could live with Zack until he left for tour again. Now that I think of it I like option two more.

"It's up to you sweetie, whatever you want is fine with me." my mother said getting up to leave my room.

"I want to move to California with Zack." I told my mother.

"Oh, well ok then, I'll go tell him." she said looking down.

"No mom, I'll tell him." I said with my head held high.

Maybe life will turn out better than I thought. Moving to Baltimore will mean that I can do whatever I want. Maybe after everything I've been through someone saw it was my time to be happy and shine.


	3. Chapter 2

Aubrey's POV

I started down the hall. Looking at the pictures that covered the green pale walls. Pictures of my pass all hang in their rightful places. There was a picture of Zack and I from when we were seven, and with his older brother Broyce who was nine. Then there was a picture of my father and I before he passed away. And then there was a picture of my cousins and auntie Dee. And the last picture I could see was from last year at Warp Tour. I was with Zack, Rian, Jack, and Alex, all four members of the band. I was being held up on Zack and Rian's shoulders. We we're laughing and Jack and Alex were looking at us as if we were the crazy ones for once. I remember that day, it was the best ever. I looked down to see the stains in the carpet. I see everything that I'll never see again. I take one last look, taking everything in. I hope this is the last time I ever see this hell-whole. I run down the wooden stairs, diving onto the couch. Zack looks over at me. I give him a big smile before tackling him into a bear hug.

"Thank-you so much! I can't wait! When do we move?" I ask never giving Zack the chance to talk.

"Ha-ha, calm down Aubrey. We'll be leaving soon enough. So you're sure you wanna come with?" Zack said holding me in a side hug.

"Yes! Of course!" I cried with excitement.

"Well then," Zack smiled. "We're leaving tomorrow morning."

"What time!" I asked.

"Well our plane leaves tomorrow at quarter after eleven. So we need to be there at about ten to get through security and stuff." Zack told me.

So we're leaving tomorrow. Someone must have seen that I was drowning in misery. Who ever was looking out for me, thank-you.

"OMG! Ok I'll go pack now!" I raced upstairs running towards my room. Once I enter I see that my mother already left. I don't think much of it and grab my bags out of my closet. I pack all the necessary supplies I'll need. I keep packing and then I look over to my side table. Even when I moved back to my mother's I brought along my pills. I open up the door of the table and see my path to heaven. I turn to see if anyone is looking. I'm good, I can pack. I reach for the bottles, my hand shaking, and my eyes closed tight. I want to be with Liam, yet I wanna have a long life.

"Aubrey! WHAT THE HELL!" Zack yells.

I turn around knowing that it's all over. I know that he's gonna send me to a mental hospital. I know that this was my last chance. I drop the bottle, curl up into a ball, and sob. I don't think I've ever wanted to die this bad, and yet I still don't wanna die. I'm just scared of everything I've learned to know with Liam. And the life I'll have to learn without him.

"What the heck we're you thinking?" Zack asked as I sobbed into his chest.

" I don't know anymore. I keep thinking about him Zack. He ruined me physically and emotionally. I don't know how to live without him! And I don't know if I can learn how to." I cried.

"Shhh, it'll be ok. I'll make sure of it, it'll be ok. Trust me Aubrey." Zack soothed.

And for once I believed him. I calmed down after awhile. And with the help of Zack threw out all the pills. Once we we're done that we got rid of the old pictures of him. Not once did Zack mention his name, nor did I. Once we were done I passed out on the floor, ready for the big move.

I woke up the next morning at quarter to eight. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and walk into my bathroom. My make-up from the other day is smeared down my face. Bags hung under my eyes, and my hair was all crazy looking. I look at my reflection. And all I can do is laugh about it. How the hell did I manage that?

After looking at my crazy reflection I hopped into the shower. I cry again about the night before. I swore I could hear Liam's voice. Telling me it was the right thing to do. But I still wasn't sure. Once I got out of the shower I pull on black sweat pants, a long red sleeved shirt, and my personal made All Time Low hoodie.

Once I walk down stairs I see Zack on the couch sleeping. I smile at his peaceful form and continue on into the yellow kitchen. I look one last time at the white cupboards and white counters. I look at our white oven and yellow fridge. Our window curtains with the light pale green design. Taking everything in as if this was the last time I would ever be here.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself I just go on as normally. I go to the fridge grab the eggs and butter. I go to one of the cupboards and grab a large pan. I then go into a different cupboard closes to the dining room and grab three plates and a bowl. I crack five of the eggs into the bowl and mix them. I add a few pieces of cheese and throw it in the already buttered pan. As the pan starts to warm I grab the bread out of another cupboard and threw a few pieces on the counter.

I quickly butter the bread and throw cinnamon and sugar on top of them before throwing them into the toaster oven. I quickly grab a spatula out of one of the drawers and run over to the eggs and started like smashing them together. I didn't really know what to call it so I just say smash or scramble them together. I concentrated hard on it and then ran back over to the toaster oven before the cinnamon toast burnt. I was doing so many things at once that I felt like everything was gonna become a disaster. I ran back to the eggs and smashed them some more and then ran and grabbed the cinnamon toast out of the toaster over. I quickly put two pieces on Zack's plate, and one on my mother's plate and one on my plate. I ran back to eggs relieved that they we're finally done. I put the biggest portion on Zack's not knowing how much he ate. I then divided the rest for my mother and I.

I bring the plates to the dining room and set the table. I go back to one of the drawers and grab some forks for everyone. I also grab the orange juice and milk setting them out on the table. I grab three glasses and put one by each plate. Lastly I grab some napkins for everyone and look at my accomplishment. I was never able to cook breakfast before without getting yelled at by my father. He said I always made a mess and never cooked things properly. As a little girl I wanted to become a famous chef or baker but my father always told me how horrible I was. I gave up the dream and just ended up ditching college. My father died when I was fifteen and the last thing that happened was well. He took me by the arm dragging me to the kitchen. He placed my face onto the hot stove tops. He yelled at me saying I was a terrible daughter and that I should be ashamed of what I have become and what I will be.

I shake the thoughts from my head. I don't need to be thinking about that shit. I run into the living room jumping on Zack, telling him to get up. He groaned and pushed me off him. Again I jump right back on him telling him to get up.

"Fuck off Aubrey, I'm sleeping." Zack groaned again and pushed me to the side.

"But Zack I made you breakfast. I made some yummy eggs and cinnamon toast! And we got orange juice or milk, or you could be lame and drink water" I said sticking my tongue at him as I sat on him for the third time already.

"Do I have to get up?" Zack whined.

"Zack it's almost nine thirty, and you said we have to leave at ten. So yes, yes you do have to get up" I said being a smart-ass.

"Fuck it, fine I'll get up. Just one thing Aubrey." Zack said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Yeah Zack?" I asked.

"Your gonna pay for sitting on me," Zack says as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder carrying me to the dinning room.

"Zack what are you gonna do?" I asked trying to kick him in the gut so he would drop me.

"Oh, don't worry about it Aubrey. You'll live." Zack laughs evilly and I start to get scared.

I know it shouldn't have reminded me about the night it did, but it did. I couldn't help but watch the memory as it came to thoughts. It was the night that Liam had threatened me and his friends all watched laughing evilly.

"_Aubrey why would you disobey me?" Liam started off nicely._

" _I don't know what you mean Liam. I didn't do anything wrong." I was scared. I didn't know what he was talking about. _

"_Babe if I did something to upset you, then I'm sorry I didn't mean it."_

" _Don't babe me, you fucking bitch." Liam yelled at me slapping me across the face. " I told you that your not aloud to talk to anyone but me at the party last night."_

"_Liam I was trying to find a way home. You were drunk out of your mind and I didn't have my vehicle, I'm sorry." I told him, hoping he wouldn't try hitting or kicking me like usually._

"_Sorry doesn't fix anything. I can't believe that's your stupid excuse. You we're looking for someone to make-out with weren't you? You fucking slut. All my friends try to make me stay away from you. The next time you talk to anyone without my permission I'll fucking kill you. And don't think I'm joking. I don't care if I'll go to jail. If it teaches you bitch a lesson it's worth it. UNDERSTAND!" Liam threatened me, his friends laughed evilly and all I could do was nod trying to hold back my tears. He pulls his leg back, I squint my eyes shut ready for the hitting, the kicking, the name calling, all of it and the sad thing was, I was already so use to it._

"I'm sorry! Liam please! I didn't mean it! STOP," I cried thinking I was facing my enemy.

"Aubrey? Aubrey look at me, I'm Zack remember. Aubrey stop! Aubrey calm down please." I heard Zack's voice. But I couldn't see him. All I saw was Liam. I see everything bad he did. And everything bad he could still do to me. Even if he isn't alive there is still a chance with his soul. I'm just so scared of everything. I let him do this to me. I was petrified not only of Liam but of myself also. I did this, I was the one who stayed in the relationship, I was the one who deserved to be beat every night.

"Get away! GET AWAY!" I screamed as I saw more memories flash by my eyes.

I can feel his touches all over me. How dirty I felt. I felt his fingertips brushing by my chest. And I could feel the nibbling kisses on my neck. I could hear him whisper to me how much of a 'slut' I was. I began crying. Why couldn't I just live a normal life? Why couldn't everything just go back to normal?

"Aubrey please, it's me Zack. I promise Abby nothing bad will happen to you." Zack said slowly his voice stuttered a little. He was scared with was going on and it was my fault.

He called me 'Abby' though. So it had to be him. Zack and his brother Broyce made up the nickname for me. Even though my name was very easy to say, as little kids they never could. So they called my Abby.

I tried fighting through the memories and to pull myself back to reality, but something held me back. This was the life I learned with Liam. Most of the time he was beating me and trying to get me to do drugs or drink. He tried raping me before when he was drunk. But when we went out with my friends or my parents he acted as though he was a gentleman. And that's why I liked him. He was romantic about ten percent of the time. And that ten percent was the only reason why I was with him.

Once I finally pulled myself from the memories, I cried into my hands. I refused to look up at Zack. I was ruining his life, I ruined my father's and mother's. Heck I even ruined Liam's life. I couldn't believe how stupid I was. If I had locked that door this wouldn't be happening right now. If I had locked that goddamn door I would be six feet under the ground right now. I wish life would just become easier for me.

I feel Zack put his arm around me as I sob. He tries to calm me and holds me tighter in his arms. Why did Zack have to be dragged into this? I never meant for any of this happen, and I feel terrible about dragging him into it. I just wish I could change everything. If Zack and I had never meet than maybe he would be better off. We probably both would. I probably still would have meet Liam and still probably have tried to kill myself. But I probably would have been successful.

"Abby, come on please calm down. It's okay, I'm sorry I was only playing around. I didn't mean for it to be hurtful towards you. I'm sorry Abby, I love you though." Zack said as he rocked us back and forth on the floor.

"I'm sorry to Zack. I'm ruining your life. I swear I didn't try dragging you into this." I sobbed almost not understandable into his chest.

"Aubrey! Your not ruining my life. For god sakes, Abby you're my best friend. I love you and would do anything for you please understand. Your not ruining my life at all. You my best friend and I would do anything for you." Zack said as I started to quiet down.

" I feel like I ruin everything though Zack, and I'm sorry it had to be your life. Please if there is any room in your heart, can you forgive me?" I asked even though I knew the answer, I was still scared he'd yell at me and tell me how horrible I was. But Zack isn't like that, but I was still scared. I just couldn't help it.

" You already are forgiven. I love you Abby. Come on let's go eat and then I'll quickly go take a shower before we leave." Zack said helping me to my feet and walking to the dinning room with me.

We sat next to one another, I didn't real know what to say so I just picked at my eggs silently. Zack quickly ate and then kissed my forehead saying he'd be back soon. Once he left I picked up his plate and mine and washed them up. I grabbed my mother's plate and put it in the microwave to keep it warm until she came down.

I then ran up stairs and grabbed my suitcases. While walking down the hall I saw the pictures again. I quickly took the picture of Zack, Broyce, and I, and I also took the picture from Warped Tour. I walk down stairs and put them in the less packed suitcase. I sit down on the couch looking at the popcorn ceiling. No not popcorn, popcorn, but like white pebble things all over the ceiling.

With my eyes I draw pictures into the ceiling as I wait for Zack to come down. I get annoyed easily and start to grab his bags and mine and drag them outside onto the porch. I txt Zack that I'm outside waiting and sit down on the bench. Not only five minutes later a cab appeared and Zack came running outside.

We both grab our own bags and pop open the trunk of the cab. We hop into the back and ask the man to bring up to the airport. It was silent the rest of the way their. No one said anything until we got there. The total price for us to pay him was fifty bucks even. I grab the money out of my purse before Zack can get his wallet. I give it to the man and go get our stuff out of the back.

Zack come around back to help. An angry look in his eyes as he glared at me.

"I should of paid. It's not right for a lady to pay when there is a gentleman with her." Zack looked at me a muttered.

"Gentleman? For real Zack? I know better than that. Come on you can't be a gentleman after hanging out with Alex and Jack for more than two years. No way in hell are you a gentleman still." I laughed as I thought it.

"Fine but still I should have paid. It would have been the right thing to do." Zack says as his cheeks become red from my truth.

"Oh shut up Zack. Let's go to Baltimore already." I said excitedly.

Zack grins and we run with out suitcases to the airport entrance. It was quarter after ten now and we still had an hour until the plane took off. I was jumping for joy and prancing all around. People looked at me weirdly because I didn't care. I was ready for a new shot at life, I was ready to leave everything bad behind. I just wanted to make a difference in my life.

As we made our way through security I swore I saw Liam's friends. I gripped onto Zack bicep and hid my face behind his back. Zack looked confused and turned around. Please not here Zack, please don't talk about it. Please-

"Aubrey what's wrong?" Zack asked with a concern look written all over his face.

"Liam's friends. There here, and I don't want anything bad to happen." I said as I hid my face in his chest.

Zack understood and hid me the best he could from them. As we got farther away from them I calmed. I released Zack's arm seeing that I had left a red mark. I gasped and felt guilty right away.

"I'm so sorry Zack, I didn't mean it!" I cried silently to him.

"It's okay Aubrey. It doesn't hurt okay. So don't worry about it." Zack said and hugged me.

Finally we got through security and waited in our seats. Our plane was boarding in about ten minutes so we didn't have that long to wait. I saw Liam's friends again, and intertwine my finger's with Zack's. I squeeze his, trying to say I was scared. He squeezes my hand back reassuringly and pulls me closer to him.

The ten minutes pass and we sit on the plane. I don't see Liam's friends and for once I'm actually happy. No fake smile, no fake giggle, no I was happy. I just wanted to leave already. If anyone understood then I would be surprised.

I watched Zack as he looked out the window. He was ready to leave and so was I. He was ready to go back home, and I was ready to leave this hell-whole. As the airplane took off I looked to the other side of me. I thought I was leaving everything behind. I guess not. Liam's friends we're in the seats next to me, glaring at me.

I grab onto Zack's bicep in a death grip. He looks over at me. I began to shake hard and tears well up in my eyes. He looks past me and sees the same people. Once the plane is in the air and people are able to move around again, Zack switches places with me. There was an aisle between me and Liam's friend but being so close to him. What if he brought up everything that happened?

"Abby it's okay, I'm here." Zack soothed me, and the world around me started to disappear.

_I was out cold. My dreams nothing but blackness at first. And then everything came back to me. I was dressed in a pink shirt and brown leggings with a short ruffled white skirt over them. I was playing on the swings as a young seven year old. My parents had left me there, forgetting all about me. I was happy. I was forgotten. I didn't have to hear them yell._

_I then got off the swing by jumping. As I was about to land on the ground I put my hand out to break my fall. By doing so I broke my wrist. At first I was just in shook. And then I started getting scared. No one was here to help me. All the children had left and the sun was setting. I cried for a little bit and then tried finding my way back home. For a seven year old it wasn't that easy._

_I walk out to the side walk and try finding the signs. I lived on Becky's street. The street I don't know why it was called Becky's street. It just was. I found a street that said Maine Street and another that said Broad Street. I didn't know which way to go and I was getting nervous. Zack and his family was on vacation I think, so I couldn't go across the street and ask for help. I didn't know what else to do. So I sat there on the side walk, and cried my eyes out._

_An hour or so later I began shivering. I was cold, I was hungry, and I was in pain. My wrist didn't feel any better and my body shook with every wind that hit my skin. A few minutes later I heard a car pull up next to me. I freaked out at first and tried running away. Then I heard Zack's mother's voice._

"_Aubrey? Is that you sweetie?" She asked._

_I turned around and nodded._

"_Come on get in, we'll take you home." She said as she got out of the car and helped me into the back seat. She allowed me to sit in the middle with no booster seat, neither of the boys had one either, so I didn't feel embarrassed. I hopped in between the boys and held my hang close to my chest._

"_Ew, what happened to your hand." Broyce asked._

_I looked at my hand, it was bent at an odd angle. I returned with, "I jumped off the swings and tried to break my fall with my hand."_

"_Your hand looks weird does it hurt?" Zack asked and poked it._

"_OW! Zack don't touch it. It hurts really bad." I cried a little from the pain._

_Mrs. Merrick turned around and looked at my hand. She shook her head and then a few minutes later we we're back at my house. I hopped out and thanked them. Mrs. Merrick also came out. I looked at Broyce and Zack with a questioning look. They both shrugged and waved good-bye to me._

"_Thank-you for the ride Mr. Merrick." I said._

"_Your welcome sweetheart. Now go get inside and show your parents you hand." I nodded and walked up to Mrs. Merrick as she was already talking to my mother._

"_Do you even know where little Aubrey was?" Mrs. Merrick asked my mother._

"_She knows her way around. She would have been fine. Sorry I have other things to do then watch a seven year old. You know most of us have a life, unlike you and your husband." My mother spat towards her._

"_You know what no, Aubrey is going to be staying with us until you fix yourself up. Come on Aubrey let's go grab you some of your things." Mrs. Merrick said walking past my mother and up into my room._

_She knew my house so well because of the many times she had been here. I quickly ran into my room and grab my stuffed penguin. He was the one thing I needed for certain. We then grabbed a few outfits and walked out of the house. Mrs. Merrick threw my stuff in the trunk, and then we we're off to their house. Once we we're there Mr. Merrick unloaded the car and Mrs. Merrick took me to the hospital. I got a purple cast put onto my arm and we went back to her house. _

_For two week I stayed there, when finally my mother called and said to bring me back or she would call the police. I gave Zack and Broyce a hug staying good-bye to them. I went home and awaited my punishment from my father. For a seven year old I shouldn't be use to that. _

"_Aubrey Niccole Greence! How dare you fucking run away from home! How dare you say lies to the Merrick's." My father said kicking my tiny body all over the place._

"_Daddy! I'm sorry, please don't hurt me." I cried._

"Aubrey come on we're here. Get up." Zack said shaking me.

"Zack, I was sleeping." I groaned.

"Yeah, I was sleeping this morning. Come on Aubrey. Broyce is here to pick us up." Zack said grabbing our stuff from the compartment above.

"Broyce is here!" I had a shit grin on my face and quickly helped Zack grab the suitcases that we're up there.

"Oh, I see how it is. You like Broyce more than me huh?" Zack acted hurt for a moment.

"No. Zack I just, I haven't seen him in years. I saw you last year, and it's been since our senior year that I've seen him." I said trying to make up an excuse.

"Uh huh. Yeah sure. Admit it your in love with Broyce." Zack said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Gosh Zack. Shut up will ya? I don't like your brother anymore than a friend. Now come on!" I said trying to rush the line out.

Once we we're outside I looked all around for Broyce. When I found him I ran to him while putting the suitcases on the wheels. I caught up more speed and dropped the bags before tackling him in a hug. I tighten my arms around him and he pulls me closer.

"I'm glad your still alive Aubrey. I was so worried." Broyce said as he started to let go of me.

"I'm sorry. I just felt like I had no other choice. Please don't be mad at me?" I asked for his forgiveness.

"I could never stay mad at you. As long as you don't ever do anything like that again then I won't ever yell at you." Broyce said and hugged me one more time.

I looked over to see Zack talking to a bunch of guys. They looked like his band 'All Time Low'. Zack waves Broyce and I over. As I reach for the bags, Broyce pushes me out of the way and grabs them. I glare at him and he just smiles. I playfully hit him and he acts as if it hurts. I giggle and run over to Zack, jumping onto his back.

"Aubrey what did I say about jumping on me." Zack joked around.

"You said only jump on your front." I said laughing my head off. His band members fall to the floor laughing while Zack's face turns red.

"AUBREY!" Zack yells.

"Oh I'm sorry you didn't want everyone to know?" I asked.

" Well then, you must be the famous Aubrey Greence." The kid with dark brown hair and brown eyes asked me.

"Jack don't act like you don't remember me." I laughed and jumped onto Rian's back. "Hi Rian! I missed you more than everyone else. Don't tell no one though." I whispered yelled to everyone.

"Yeah I totally didn't miss her," Alex said glaring at me.

"I'm sorry Alex. I actually like quiet people. You and Jack are just to much. You guys don't understand being silenced, you guys are center of attention. So I'm sorry, I do love you guys, but I can't handle you at this moment of my life." I said and places my face on Rian's back since he hadn't told me to get off and he had a good grip on me. I feel asleep again but only to be awoken as we started to leave.

"Come on Aubrey. I don't wanna carry you outside." Rian whinnied.

"Please? I asked.

"Ugh, why must girls be so weird? Fine." He groaned and I smiled.

"Thank-you Rian, you're the best." I smiled as I put my chin on his shoulder.

Jack and Alex seemed to be quiet. They walked outside with their heads staring down at their shoes. Maybe I was to harsh on them. I couldn't help it, Zack and Rian understood me so much more. And when something pissed them off they didn't react right away. They thought about it. Jack and Alex on the other side would jump right up and do something about it.

Broyce and Zack lead the way to the car followed by Jack and Alex. Rian was behind them and everyone was just silent. Their was no jokes, no smiles, no fooling around. And it was because of me. I sigh and continue to look forward. That's when I saw them. They we're laughing and waiting outside. I jump down from Rian's back and start backing away.

"Aubrey come on. What's wrong now?" Rian asked.

"I can't go out there. No, no I-I-I…" I started to freak out. My emotions took over my body and I sprinted away from the boys. I didn't know where I was running to, I looked up at the signs trying to figure out where the boys wouldn't look for me. I had no idea and I was freaking out badly now. I had sweat running down my face, and my body was shaking like a leaf.

"AUBREY! AUBREY STOP." I heard someone yell, but I didn't know who. I was hyperventilating and was scared of my surroundings. I felt like breaking down and crying but I didn't want people to see. I felt like screaming but I didn't want people to hear.

"Aubrey! Are you okay?" I turned only to see Broyce with Zack right behind him.

I shake my head as tears start to threaten.

"Come on, let's get you home." Zack says.

I shake my head. "I can't go out there Zack, their waiting out there. Please don't make me go."

Broyce looks at me confused. I shake my head hoping he wouldn't push for answers. He sighs and picks me up bridal style. I hide my face into his chest and Broyce just lets me breath his scent in. As we get closer to the door Broyce sooths me trying to keep me calm. Their still out there, smoking weed no less. I start to get jumpy but Broyce hangs onto me and Zack stands beside us. Rian stands on the other side feeling sorry for me.

As Zack opened the doors and we walked out I gripped onto Broyce's shoulders. I got nervous again, and then of course, Liam's best friend Oliver started talking. And not so nice things, I began crying and Broyce tried to walk faster.

"Oh look guys! It's Aubrey Greence! How ya doing with hooking up with guys? Looks like you already got five of them wrapped around your finger." Oliver yelled to us.

"Dude just shut the fuck up! Her boyfriend just died do you have to treat her that way?" I hear Jack yell at him.

I look up putting my chin on Broyce's shoulder so I can see what's going on.

"Oh shut the hell up dude. She should have died a while ago. I don't know who was stupid enough to save her though. She's a fucking cunt." Oliver said glaring at me.

"Don't you fucking look at her you piece of shit! She's done nothing wrong, so you can shut your mouth and kiss my ass." Alex yelled and then they walked away.

"Whatever freaks. Just wait till she dies then you can drop the act. Everyone is better off without her." I heard Oliver's girlfriend Mia say.

I look down again shaking and believing everything they say. Tears well up in my eyes again and I burry my face into Broyce's chest. I wish right there, right now, this moment I could just become invisible and hide from the world. I hear a car door open and Broyce sets me in the back of the van. Zack sits in the passenger seat, while Broyce gets ready to drive. Rian sits next to me and

Jack sits on the other side of me. Alex then gets the whole far back seat to himself.

I lay my head on Rian's lap and curl up into a ball. Jack grabs my feet and set them on his lap. I look up to him mouth 'I'm sorry' and try calming myself. From this morning to only two a 'clock this afternoon, everything has gone simply wrong. And it's all my fault.


	4. Chapter 3

Aubrey's POV

Once we drove out of the parking lot, I sit up only to rest my head on Rian's shoulder. I watch as Zack and Broyce talk about stupid brother stuff. I wonder how badly I'll be ruining their home life once I settle in. Probably a lot since I still cry myself to sleep every night. I sighed as I try to get everything that happened earlier to leave me alone.

"Zack how far are we from your place?" I asked.

"About a half hour to forty-five minutes. Matters how fast Broyce drives." Zack says.

"I don't speed, I just don't drive like old people named Zack," Broyce says laughing.

"Yeah sure. But while your at it, do you try killing people with your mad turns?" Zack counters back.

"Nah, that's just the car spitting." Broyce laughs.

I smile. Maybe I did like Broyce, but no one could know. For god sakes my boyfriend just passed away like two weeks ago. That proves that I really don't care. I do care though, it's just I have had a crush on Broyce since I was fifteen. I always thought he was cute, but I never admitted it.

"Right Abby?" Broyce says. I totally just blacked out. What the hell were they talking about.

"Uh, right." I said not knowing what I was agreeing to.

Everyone looks at me shocked. What had I just agreed to? Zack's face was turning red, and Jack was holding back laughs. Alex was laughing his head off. And Rian, well he was just shaking his head. Okay what the hell did I get myself into?

"Wait, what did I just agree to? I'm sorry guys, seriously I like zoned out, so whatever I agreed to yaah I just don't know what we we're talking about. Guys seriously what the hell we're you talking bout?" I asked afraid to know what I agreed to.

"Thank gosh you weren't actually agreeing to that. I would have died," Broyce said.

"Same here," Zack said.

"What the hell we're you talking about?" I asked again.

Zack turned around and smiled, "Don't worry bout it Abby, it's all figured out now."

"Wow okay thanks for the info," I say shaking my head.

Zack smiles again and turns around. I shake my head, these boys are just to crazy. All of a sudden I hear a song in the car. I sit straight up and try listening to the words better.

_Where were you, when everything was falling apart.  
>All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang<br>And all I needed was a call that never came  
>To the corner of 1st and Amistad<em>

_Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me  
>Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded<br>Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?  
>Just a little late, you found me, you found me.<em>

I look up towards Zack and smile. He found me. He found me when I was lost, when I was insecure, when I was lying down on my bed, surround by the horrible thoughts and memories. And he found me. He found me a little bit to late. If he would of came the day before, I would have been fine. I wouldn't have overdosed and I wouldn't have felt so alone. I wouldn't be here this moment. But that is what happened and nothing can change that.

I sigh and look towards Broyce. How and why did he still care about me after all these years? The last time I saw him I was seventeen, happy, always smiling, full of life, and not a scar on my body. I wish that was still true now a days but the beatings gave me these scars. They we're like battle scars, and I treasured them with all my heart.

I continue to wait to just be left alone. I feel like I've had to much attention the last few days, especially today. I just wanted to find my room walk into it and just be left alone. A few moments later I see a white house ahead. It had a green lawn and a mailbox. It looked like any other house. They even put a girlie touch on it by adding two pots with flowers. Broyce pulled into the driveway and parked. I hoped over Jack and got out. I quickly run to the trunk and grab my bags before anyone could react.

I look at their house again. This is my new home, my new start, my new life. I hope nothing goes wrong, cause if something does go wrong, I'm gone. Broyce and Zack hop out at the same time running to get the bags. Zack grabs his bags and runs inside. That was weird, where the hell is he going?

"What's his rush," I asked Broyce.

Broyce laughs, "He can't wait to see Hailey. And any minute now my girlfriend Jessie should be here."

"That's awesome! Hey uh Broyce." I really just wanted to go cry. First of all because of what Oliver and Mia had said. And second of all because how my heart feels like it's being tossed around and played with.

"Yeah Abby?" Broyce says as he closes the trunk. By now all the guys have already ran inside and started talking amongst themselves.

"Do you think I could maybe just like go take a nap somewhere?" I asked.

"Yeah, actually Zack called me, we've transformed the old spare room into your bedroom for now," Broyce said smiling and leading the way.

As we walked inside I saw the front door lead into the living room. Their living room was huge with blue walls and white carpet. There was a big screen television, a big blue couch that was now occupied by the guys. Also their was a light blue loveseat. In the next room there was the kitchen. The counter tops were white and the stools were also white. They had a nice big table in the dinning room which was light wood. Their ceiling lights had a pretty cylinder with like lightening bolts across them. Finally they had a hall, which I presumed held the doors to the bedroom.

Broyce leads me to the second door on the left and opens it for me. In the room there was a queen size bed with a striped comforter. The walls we're a dark purple and the carpet was black. I smiled at least I would still have something to hold my secrets into. The dark walls are like my secrets, so I will let them hear everything. There was also a small entertainment center with a small television on it. It also had a compartment for movies or cd's. On the right side of the room there was a walk in closet. Near the closet there was a desk with a lamp on it. It was the perfect place for me to write my poems and stories.

"Thank-you so much Broyce! It's perfect." I said giving him a hug.

"Well I'll leave then so you can settle in. Oh that door over there is your own bathroom, and well everything else you can sorta see for yourself." Broyce said excusing himself.

I smile and look around the room. I began unpacking by hanging up the two photos I had brought. Once I hang them up I place all my clothes on hangers and put them in the closet. I set my shoes on the bottom of the closet and shut the door. I then grab my laptop and set it down on the desk. I then unpack my cd's and movies placing them in the special compartment of my new entertainment center. Finally I grab my favorite white multi-colored polka dot blanket and my stuff penguin Houston.

I grab my blanket and Houston and lay down in my bed. I hear the guys laughing and I hear a girly laugh. Must have been that Jessie girl or Hailey girl. I sigh and burry my body under the comforter and my own blanket. I also hold Houston to my chest. I began to cry my eyes out into the pillow. How can I just be played around with? How could everything literally slip through my hands less than a month? Everything has changed and nothing in a good way.

A few moments later I hear the door slam and my phone go off. I look at the name and see it's Broyce. They must be going out into the yard for a little bit. I ignore it and just lay there looking up at the ceiling. So high and strong it must be. It's strength holding up the roof. And yet not tumbling down and landing on me like I wish it would.

I turn around and look at the photos I brought. I wish I could go back to being a kid. How I would die to be that age again. How I would die or give anything up so I wasn't in this situation anymore. How I wish I could live by myself. How I wish I never meet Liam or his friends. How I wish I could make a career in cooking or writing. Wishing I could be what I had set my dreams to but never shot for them. How I wish I could have never been born to make the mistakes I took and still do.

My phone goes off again. I ignore it knowing it was either Zack or Broyce. I know what I was about to do was horrible and I just couldn't stop myself. I ran into the bathroom looking to see if their was a blade. When I couldn't find one I ran into the kitchen. I grabbed a sharp knife and ran back into my room. I locked the door and slid down. I rested my head against the door. The handle in my hand was begging to be used. I kept thinking though, what if Broyce or Zack or any of the guys found out? I sighed and bring the knife back into the kitchen. I start to cry and walk into my room. I couldn't even hurt myself right. I lock my bedroom door again and go lay down.

I looks down at my body. I feel ugly and fat. Stupid and reckless. Worthless and idiotic. I wish I was someone else. I wish I had a different life. But I didn't. I was Aubrey Nicole Greence the total screw up. The mistake since birth. And the mistake until death. If I ever have children they will hate me. If I ever get married I will be divorced within a year. If I ever get a pet they would find a way to get away from me. Why couldn't I just get the courage and leave? I wouldn't be hurting anyone by it.

A few moments I hear the front door slam shut. Who could that be. I just ignore it and cuddle with Houston again. I hear footsteps and voices. Oh great I think it was Broyce and his girlfriend Jessie or whatever her name is.

"Jessie calm down. I'm just checking on her. She's like my little sister, she could never replace you." Broyce says as they get closer.

"Broyce I bet she's fine. She can live without you watching over her. I don't even get why she can live here and I can't" The girl said.

Broyce sighs. "Jessie I told you. She was in a really depressed world. She tried to commit suicide. She was so upset, and if she's left alone. Well, Zack and I are afraid she'll succeed at it. We're afraid she'll try again. I literally cannot live without her. I've known her since I was nine. She's family." Broyce fights back.

"You know what! I'm so sick of this! You have been talking about her nonstop for a week straight! She's probably some ugly whore!" Jessie had screamed.

"JESSIE! Don't you ever speak of Aubrey that way! You are gonna have to get used to it. My life does not only go around you. I have other people in my life. Some girls, some guys. I care about them all. So you need to stop being so fucking jealous all the time. Okay? Cause Aubrey is not a whore. She was an innocent girl that got mixed up with the wrong people. She's pulling herself out of the dark place she was in now. And she needs all the help she can get." Broyce said stepping up for me.

I smiled and buried my face into the pillows. My thoughts go somewhere else. I think about how I had a chance with Broyce in the past. But I gave it up for someone else. And now I'll regret it for life. I'm glad at least he was happy about being with Jessie.

When he had said her name his eyes had brightened up with joy. He had a goofy smile on and it was good.

I heard a knock on my door seconds after letting my mind slip. I just stay laying down. He may just think I fell asleep or something. I close my eyes and rest my body. Please sleep over take me so I don't have to see him and his girlfriend.

He tries turning the knob. The door's locked. I can hear him swear and run away from the door. A few seconds later I hear him playing with the knob trying to get it open. It may take him awhile so I let my mind float into an unknown world. A world where nothing makes since. It was a world where no one knew I even existed. And as weird as it was, I liked it.

I could do whatever and not be noticed for once. I was free. I had no one to bug me. I had no one watching over me. I had no one beating me. I had myself and that was enough. And then there it was. A sign saying that I was missing on a bulletin board I saw. I was shook and ran away from the people. I kept running not knowing where my feet we're taking me. I only caught up speed as the wind blew through my hair and I let me feet speak. I did not wish to control them nor did they wish to be controlled.

"I don't think so princess," I heard someone say as they grabbed me from behind. They placed their hand over my mouth dragging me farther away from the town. I soon noticed they were dragging me into a forest. I tried to bite or lick his hand but he still didn't let go. I began to cry. Come on Aubrey! Wake up any minute now! Please, please, please.

"Aubrey! Aubrey wake up!" I heard someone farther away yell, but I could not.

I started to relax my body and knew the more I freaked out, well the more questions I would be asked. I closed my eyes and thought of my dream world. A place where nothing bother me. A lifeless meadow, no trees, no plants, no animals. A place that only I knew about. Soon my dreams started to fade away and I relaxed. I let sleep take over me, and enjoyed the once and a lifetime moment where no one could judge me.


	5. Chapter 4

Aubrey's POV

Once I had awoken, it was dark. I looked at the time at my cell phone. Four thirty am. I sigh and get out of bed. I grab some black skinny jeans, a black tank top, panties, a bra, and a dark blue v-neck. I walk into the bathroom connected to my bedroom and start the shower. I quickly strip and grab a towel off of the rack. I set it on the toilet, and hop in the shower. I began to cry my eyes out. Why was my life so difficult? I never meant to do anything wrong. I'm not even sure what I did wrong.

I let the hot water run cold. Once it begins to turn cold I grab the razor I had found earlier and cut my thigh. I smile at the pain. No one was causing me pain. I was, no one else. And no one else ever could again. I cut again knowing its wrong but it just felt so right. I start laughing and cut my other thigh. I had cut deeper this time and blood was pouring out. I laugh and then feel really light headed. I slip and fall, landing on my butt. I grab the towel and put pressure on the wound. It's starting to hurt. I smile at the pain.

I shut off the water, and hop out of the shower. My leg is still bleeding so I sit on the bath rug, adding pressure still. I wait a few moments before I get up again and start getting dressed. I through on my pink polka-dot bra and then a black tank top. I throw on my panties before my jeans. I then brush my hair out. It falls to my mid back starting to slowly air dry. I throw on my v-neck and walk into my bedroom. My leg still hurts but I decide just to fake the pain with a smile.

I walk out into the kitchen. I look at the microwave to see that it's only five thirty am. I look around in the cupboards to find a bowl and cereal if they had any. I finally found a green bowl and some cocoa puffs. I despised chocolate but I guess it would have to work. I fill the bowl and eat the cereal plain. I know it's strange, but I didn't like the cereal getting soggy.

I finish my bowl of cereal when I hear a door open. I look over into the hallway. A groggy Zack comes out. I turn around again fast and pick up my bowl. I hurry to the sink to wash it. Once I finish that I put it in the dish rack. Zack sits down at the counter. I'm nervous. What if he knows? What if he's mad at me. What if he kicks me out? What if-

"Hey Abby. Whatcha doing up so early?" Zack asks as he rests his head in his hand.

"Uh, I was just getting ready for a run actually." I lied knowing it was the only excuse I had to leave the house.

"It's not even light out. Why don't you watch some cartoons with me for now?" Zack asked as he got up and dragged his feet to the living room.

I sigh and complies. He sits down in the middle of the couch laying down. I take the love seat to myself and lay on my stomach. He keeps the television off and watches my movements. I feel weird it out and turn once again from him.

" So why didn't you answer my calls yesterday?" Zack asks.

"I was sleeping, sorry." I answer a little to quickly.

"Abby, what's going on with you lately? I know that with Liam's passing your not yourself, but your acting even stranger than normally. Please open up and let me know." Zack says sincerely.

I sigh, and sit up. I look at Zack and then the door. Before Zack can even react I sprint out the door. I run, but I don't know where. I keep going as far as my small fragile legs will let me. I start panicking when my asthma acts up. I end up sitting down on the curb, my inhaler in my bag at Zack's house, and my lungs feeling as if they we're closing. I try to relax and continue breathing.

Zack's POV

Aubrey ran out the door like I was trying to murder her. All I wanted her to know was that I was here when she wanted to open up. I wasn't gonna leave and run away if she told me anything. I loved her to pieces and couldn't just watch her spiral into her depression like that. I wish that I could make her feel better but if she didn't open up I couldn't do anything. I was knocked out of my thoughts when Broyce came out.

"Where's Aubrey?" Broyce asked like he had seen a ghost.

"I don't know, she sprinted out the door just awhile ago." I said continueing to think.

"Zack, something really bad is going on with her." Broyce said.

I look up from my spot looking at him. He's paler than albino people. It's scaring me, what could have happened? What does he know that I don't? I stare at him trying to see if his eyes will tell. They say nothing, they are filled with fear, their scared of something to hard to say.

"Broyce what is it?" I asked gently.

"Zack I found a razor in Aubrey's bathroom. The shower had blood all over it, the bath mat had blood all over it to. The counter and floor all contain blood. Zack I think she cut herself."

"Wait what? No she couldn't! Dude we have to go find her!" I yelled and ran out the door. Broyce being the smart one called me back to the house, we ended up grabing his car keys and set out to find her. Aubrey didn't know anything about Baltimore. We turned every turn, drove past every light, and still we couldn't find our beloved Aubrey. All of a sudden I got a call from Alex.

"Alex what do you need? Broyce and I are a little busy." I said as I watched out the window looking for our red headed friend.

"I was just gonna ask if you lost something, I sorta found something you might be looking for." Alex said.

"Aubrey is with you!" I asked grabbing Broyce's upper arm getting his attention.

"Well yes, but we're at the hospital right now," my smile turned into a complete frown.

"What happened?" I asked scared that something bad happened.

"Aubrey had an asthma attack, but she's gonna be okay, she didn't have her inhaler with her." Alex said.

"As least it was just an asthma attack, nothing else. Tell our little red head that we love her." I say and then tell Broyce to drive to the hospital. We didn't have to be specific, there was only one hospital where we lived by. Broyce drives there, and then I see something I never expected him to do.

Broyce walks over to Aubrey holding her hand, with his other he lifts up her chin. She looks at him with wide eyes and he places a kiss on her lips. He then simply walks away to check her out. She puts her fingers to her lips looking surprised as ever. She then frowns and sits down to the floor crying. Why can't she just get over him? Why does she always have to go back to thinking about Liam?

I walk over to her, sitting down on the ground, placing my arm around her and letting her silently sob into my shoulder. I feel bad for her. I wish we could go back to being kids and keep her away from Liam. If I could go back to the day I left for tour, it would have been completely different. I would have asked her to come with us. I wouldn't have left her to be harmed by Liam.

Aubrey then whispers in my ear, "If he knew what Liam did to me... If he just knew that I'm not the girl I was, he'd never wanna come near. Neither of you would, neiher of you would love me. I'm sorry for what I've caused. I'm sorry you ever meet me."

I hold Aubrey closer to my chest. What if she tried commiting suicide again? I don't think I could deal with all of this. It was so much on my shoulders. I then think how much the weight must feel on Aubrey. She's the one going through depression. She's the one who survived her suicide attempt. She had to be my hero.

Broyce comes back over and I glare. He looks down upset and walks away. Life in Baltimore is gonna be so much harder than I ever thought it would be.


	6. Chapter 5

Zack's POV

Aubrey stays in my arms, crying into my shoulder, and shaking violently. I rock us back and forth on the floor trying to calm her, but it seems to only work her up more. I sigh and watch as people stare at us. There wasn't much to see, just a crying red head being comforted by a young man.

Alex then walks over to us. A small smile planted on his face. I nod my head to tell him a silent thank-you. He sits down next to us and reachs for Aubrey. She allows him to touch her but slowly starts to turn around to look at him. Once she turned around to face him she sends her body flying at him. He tightens his grip on her as she shakes in his arms. Minutes later she stops shaking and begins to get up.

"Are you ready to go home?" Alex asks her while putting an arm around her shoulder.

"No not really, but I have to go there eventually," Aubrey sighs.

"It'll be okay, I promise Abby," I tell her as I walk next to them.

Life would never be the same. I know Broyce, he can be kind when he wants. And sometimes he only gets with a girl until he gets what he wants. If he dare does that to Aubrey though, I will kill him, no matter what.

Alex's POV

I was driving around town pissed off at my sister. She never knew when to shut the fuck up. It makes me so angry that she just doesn't understand what I've been through myself. I've seen some of my old best friends just drink themself's to death. I've been punched and thrown down by so many people. I have been harmed by so many people, that I just didn't give a fuck anymore. I could care less about people on the streets or just people online. But when it came down to my friends and family treating me like crap, I couldn't stand it! What did I ever do wrong? Did everyone seriously think I was a screw-up?

I pound my first against the passenger seat in anger. My sister just likes to crawl under my skin all the time. I needed to calm down, I mean my life isn't all that bad compared to others. I have a pretty good life compared to Aubrey. Aubrey, just her name made a hundred words come to mind.

As I thought of her, all I could think is why would she try to commit suicide? How could a girl like her be pushed to the edge? What ever happened to her? She was beautiful and unique in her own ways, and I loved seeing her smile. Even if she hated Jack and I, I knew I would always be a sucker for her personality.

I continue driving around until I see a shimmer of red hair. Their body is bent at the waist with their forehead on their knees. I pull the car over to see if I can help them. As I walk up to the person I notice it's Aubrey. I gently grab her upper arm, pulling her up slowly onto her feet. She raises her head to look at me. I can now see that her chest keeps collapsing when she tries to breath in. I quickly drag her to my car and drive off to the hospital.

Once we get there, a young nurse takes Aubrey from my arms and leads her down the hallway. I walk back outside to call Zack. Maybe he was wondering where Aubrey was, I mean wasn't he suppose to watch over her so nothing bad happened to her?

"Alex what do you need? Broyce and I are a little busy." Zack says rushed.

"I was just gonna ask if you lost something, I sorta found something you might be looking for." I say.

"Aubrey is with you!" Zack asks with anticapition.

"Well yes, but we're at the hospital right now," I say a little worried he may freak.

"What happened?" Zack asks, with fear laced through his voice. 

"Aubrey had an asthma attack, but she's gonna be okay, she didn't have her inhaler with her." I say as calmly as possible.

"As least it was just an asthma attack, nothing else. Tell our little red head that we love her." Zack says and hangs up.

I smile and walk back inside. A few moments later Aubrey comes back out. She seems to be fine now. She walks up to me, her arms crossed, and a frown on her face. I smile at her when she stops infront of me.

"Thanks Alex. I owe you one." She says looking down at the floor.

"Nah, you don't owe me anything. So how did you even end up on the street?" I ask wondering what made her upset this time.

"Just had to get away from being looked after." She replies, maybe a little to fast.

"Well Zack and Broyce should be here in a few minutes. I'm gonna quickly go use the bathroom. Will you be alright by youself?

"I'll be fine. I can take care of myself. It's not like I'm five." She replies and I walk away.

When I come back I see Broyce outside by his car, and Zack comforting Aubrey. I can see her shaking and hear the uncontrollable sobs leave her mouth. I sigh and slowly walk over. I gently put a conforting hand on her back. Soon Aubrey starts to slowly turn around. Once she faces me, I see her blue eyes drowning with tears. She then launches her small body at me, shaking in my arms. I tighten my grip around her, trying to make her feel safe and protected. Trying to make her understand I'll never leave her. A few moments later, Aubrey picks her self up.

"Are you ready to go home?" I ask putting my arm around her shoulder.

"No not really, but I have to go there eventually," Aubrey sighs.

"It'll be okay, I promise Abby," Zack tells her as he walk next to us.

Everything was changing in my life, just because of this one girl. Maybe I was falling to fast and to hard for her. But maybe she needed me like I need her. I just wish I could wrap my arms around her, kiss her forehead, and tell her how much she means to me. I've known her since I met Zack. And she use to be the happiest girl in the world. Then she moved right after graduation with her mother. We hadn't seen her for two years. Well Zack did, but the rest of us thought she fell off the side of the planet. And she almost did, we almost lost the girl I was in love with since sophmore year. If she wasn't around anymore, I don't think anything would be the way it is now.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" I ask Aubrey. She slightly nods her head and I began walking her over to my car.

Zack looks at me and then smiles. Aubrey is finally gaining a liking to me. Maybe she didn't think I was that bad of a guy after all. As I open the car door for her, Broyce runs over. He glared at me, and then gave Aubrey a sad smile.

"Abby, why aren't you riding with, Zack and I?" Broyce asks taking her hand in his.

"Broyce, it's fine, I can take her back to the house. Don't worry about it, she'll be safe." I say trying to get Aubrey inside the car.

"Alex, I'm not talking to you. Hush. Aubrey come home with us?" Broyce tries again.

This time Aubrey pulls her hand away, shaking her head. She looks over at the drivers seat and waits. Broyce gets the hint and walks off. I shut Aubrey's door and walk over the the drivers side. I hop in and start the car, but I don't drive.

"Alex, I wanna go home. Please take me home." Aubrey says, her voice as light as the wind.

"Aubrey, I need to talk to you." I place my hand lightly on her leg.

"Yes?" She asks nodding her head.

"I need an answer, any answer. Why?" I ask. I need to know why she tried committing suicide. My brother had sadly succeed, and I was never able to ask him the same question. But Aubrey was still here. She was still breathing in the same air I breath in. She was still alive and nothing else mattered in the world.

"Why what?" Aubrey asks looking at me. She clearly had no idea. That or she was playing dumb.

"Why did you do it Aubrey? Why did you try committing suicide?" I ask again.

She breathes in a shaky breath. Staring down at her feet she says nothing. She starts to thwivile her thumbs and stares off into space. She obviosly needs help, but she won't open up. She needed to talk about her problems. They were making her depressed. Who knew if she wasn't thinking of suicide at the moment? I can't read her fucking mind, so I can't freaking help her. Why the hell must she make this so gosh danging diffucult!

"I, I couldn't live in a world, where I-I couldn't be me. Alex, I-I was a-abused by L-L-Liam. And there were nights when he t-tried to k-ki-kill me." Aubrey begins to sob into her hands. "I was pregnant Alex. He f-forced me to, and then forced me to get an a-a-abortion. I'm a m-murderer. I d-d-deserve to die. I don't wanna live anymore."

My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. My sweet innocent Aubrey had been forced to have sex with Liam. She had been pregnant. She had an abortion. She thinks she's a murderer. She can't be herself. She was abused. Liam tried killing her before. She doesn't wanna live anymore. She doesn't wanna live.

"Aubrey, stop please," I beg her as she begins to shake violantly. It seems as she cannot help it. "Aubrey, Aubrey calm down!" I beg and plead. Still Aubrey continues crying. I quickly get out of the car, and race to her side. I pull her out of the car and rock us back and forth.

"I just wanted to jump off that clift. I wanted to do it the right way, but I was chicken. I kept that door unlocked, and swalloed those pills. There was no pain, no nothing. Alex, I wanted to slit my throat or cut my wrist till there was no more skin. I'm weak. I hate myself. All I do is ruin everything. No one gives a fuck! I wanna die, please. Please let me die." Aubrey sobs into my chest.

She continued to shake, sob, and just slowly become colder and colder than ever before. I take my jacket off and place it around her shoulders. I hug her again, and just stand there. My chin on top of her head, while she just cried her heart away like no tomorrow. My sweet, innocent, beautiful, little Aubrey was becoming something dark. And she couldn't fight it off by herself. And somehow I was going to help her. I don't care what I have to do, I will help her survive this. I may not have been there to save my brother, but I shall save Aubrey.


	7. Chapter 6

Aubrey's POV

It has been a total week since my incident infront of Alex. Since then he's been coming over everyday to hang out with me. I can tell he's trying to help me, but I still feel like a burden on his life. Scratch that I feel like a burden on every living and non-living thing on this planet. I wish I would just drop dead. I don't get what's wrong with me. But there's always been something wrong with me, and there always will be something wrong with me.

"Abby! Your boyfriend's here!" I hear Zack call.

I panick and look down at my cell phone. It was already noon, and the bleeding from my cuts still haven't stopped. What am I suppose to do now? I can't just ignore him, but I can't walk out there with blood seeping through my jeans. I quickly wrap my cuts with tissues, and then place bandaids on top of the tissues. Hopefully that will stop the blood from seeping. I throw on my knee-length shorts and run out of my room, into the living room.

"Alex!" I yell jumping into his arms and hugging him.

"Aubrey!" He laughs.

"I'm awesome!" I grin.

"No your not dude, don't lie!" Alex sings.

"Fuck you!"

"I wouldn't mind if I did. But I don't think you roll that way." Alex snickers along with Zack.

"Oh I'm sorry I forgot about Jalex. Don't worry I'll keep your secret, can't let fans know it's real." I wink and walk into the kitchen.

"Oh that was so original," Alex says.

"I thought so." I smile, hopping up onto the counter and begin eatting an apple as Alex stared at me.

"You know by the looks of it, you don't hate me anymore." Alex smiles walking over to me.

"Eh, your okay. I mean I don't hate you but I don't like you. It's sorta nuetral." I say.

"Come on, you're attracted to me, don't lie." Alex says, now standing inbetween my legs.

"Zack! You better call Jack right away, Alex has a hard on and is trying a girl instead of him. Jack's gonna be pissed!" I scream over to the other room. Alex glares and flips me off. This makes me laugh and smile brightly.

"Hey Aubrey, I was wondering, um-" Alex starts.

"Look, I know what your going to ask. You wanna take me out to dinner because I'm adorable. Okay pick me up at seven?" I say knowing what was going on, he liked me. It was pretty obvious.

"Um, well okay then." He smiles. "And by the way, you're not adorable, you're adorkable." Alex smiles at his little joke.

"Pop up!" I say as I flip him off. "Go clean up and look presentable. Meaning don't wear one of your 'Boner' t-shirts and jeans."

"Dammit! That was my whole outfit right there!" Alex laugh and walks into the other room. "I'll pick you up at seven! Bye!" Alex yells.

I smile to myself. Someone autually wanted me around, not just for advice. But just from being me, from being myself. They wanted me to keep being me. But then again I have no idea how much longer I can keep my secrets locked up. My cuts are getting deeper, my depression is coming back(harder and worst than ever before), and I can't find one good happy memory from my past.

But maybe Alex would be able to change that. Maybe he and I can be happy together. Maybe he can take all my pain away. Maybe. But then again he was just being a nice guy, asking me out for dinner. No change that letting me pressure him into taking me out for dinner. Why couldn't I just have pretended I was busy tonight.

I sigh and walk back into my bedroom. I lock the door and the go into my bathroom. Again I lock the door. I open the cupboard's doors and find my prize possesion. My razor blade stash and my two bottles of pills I bought from the store one day. I sit on the bathroom floor, staring up at the ceiling. The razor blades on one side of me, and the bottles of pills on the other side.

Why the hell can't I just get over my depression and be normal? Why me?

Alex's POV

Once I get back to the apartment Rian and I share, Sebastian came running towards me. I sit down for a moment, petting Sebastian before I decide to get up. I walk into the kitchen grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge. I then see Ryan in the next room over watching TV.

"Hey Rian, you lazy fuck!" I yell and snicker. "I need you to do me a favor."

"What now Alex?" Rian whines, shutting off the TV.

"Can you run to the store and get me some more hair spray please!" I ask.

"You need more, already?" Rian looks at me as if I'm crazy.

"Yes I need more! My hair needs to be perfect tonight, I'm taking Aubrey out for dinner." I smile at her name.

"What? You're actually getting her out of the house?" Rian is also smiling, obviously happy that Aubrey is finally beginning to become happier.

"Yeah." I smile. "We're going out to dinner, after I pick her up at seven."

"Well good luck man! Oh by the way, in the closet there is a box labeled hair spray. Go ahead and take what you need." Rian says and then turns the TV back on.

Tonight was gonna be amazing. Just Aubrey and I. No Liam, no Liam's stupid druggie friends, and deffiantly no interupstions. Or at least I hope.

Broyce's POV

I sit in my room, hearing Aubrey yell Alex's name. It's so disgusting. He's disgusting. I just wish he didn't exist. That their stupid band 'All Time Low' didn't exist. My band "Shadows over Shine" is so much better than them. I wish Zack was me and I was Zack. I wish Aubrey had called me, and not Zack. I was the one who kicked the shit out of the boy who called her ugly. I had punched the boy who told her to go die. I even had my girlfriend help with the girls who bullied her. So why the hell does she still pick Zack and Alex over me?

She doesn't understand though. She didn't know I punched that one guy. She didn't know I beat up that other guy. She didn't know I asked Gabby to help stop the bullying. She didn't know I did all those things.

If she did know all these things, all the other guys wouldn't matter. It would just be her and I, together, happy, and in love. I would have had her under my arm while she was still in high school. We would have been the perfect couple. But that didn't end up happening. Because Aubrey didn't know. And nowadays she wouldn't care. I lost the chance when I had the chance.

Then again, if I couldn't have her, why should Zack get to? Why should Rian have a chance. Why should Jack have a chance? Why the hell, out of all the people in the world should Alex Gaskarth, get a chance? If I can't have Aubrey, no one else should get to either. Or at least no one I know, and would have to suffer watching them be together.

Aubrey's POV

I forced the pills down my throat. It hurt to dry swallow them but it was something I had to do. I take the razor blade and exert pressure to the bottom of my hand. I then cut a straight line down to the bone-ie part of my wrist. I smile as I watch the blood seep out. All I needed now was a bottle of vodka and I'd be in heaven.

The more and more I think of the sweet drink, the more I want it. I end up throwing on a long sleeve shirt and walk out of the bathroom. I grab my purse and wallet, and then walk out of my room. As I prepare to exit the front door, Zack stops me.

"Where you going Abby?" Zack asks.

"Out. I'll be back later." I say, turning the door knob.

"Aren't you going to get ready for your dinner date?" Zack asks.

"No. I'm not gonna end up going." I say and start the step outside.

"Aubrey please. You need Alex, as much as he needs you." Zack says.

"No. I'm not doing this again Zack. It's always me who gets fucked up in the end! I'm not gonna make it seem like I want to date him if I don't! I'm going out Zack. I'll see you tonight." I say and I walk outside completly.

I hope into my car and start it. For a minute I grip the wheel, as I try to stop myself. I don't need the alcohol. I don't need it. I'm strong enough without it. Right? I mean I had to be strong enough. I made it so far four years without it. I was a recovered alcoholic. I didn't want to go back.

But in just a few seconds, all my strength left. I drove away to the closest bar I could find. I order a Jager Bomb shot, and finish it within' seconds. After that I ordered a Squashed Frog shot. Then I order two more Jager Bombs before going with a beer. I sit there at the bar, by myself. No one else is here at 4:30pm. Just me and the bartender.

As I soon start to get a slight buzz feeling from the alcohol, I begin wanting the drinks with vodka in them. My sweet love for vodka was very strong. It was a wierd connection, but vodka helped me through-out high school.

"Can I get a Bloody Mary please." I ask the bartender.

"Coming right up ma'am." He says with a nice southern accent. He was sort of cute. He had dirty blonde hair with blue eyes. His skin was tan but rough looking. He would have been perfect for my friend Taylor. If her and I were still talking I would try to hook them up.

"Here you are ma'am." He says setting the drink infront of me. "That'll be four dollars please."

I hand him the money, and take a long sip from the glass. The forbidden alcohol runs down my throat like nothing. My throat is no longer dry, and my mind is becoming more and more foggy. I want nothing to make sense anymore. I want to drink myself to death. I want to be in my bathroom, chugging down a bottle of vodka along with some pills. I want death to come. But here I am still waiting. And here it still does not come. How much longer must I act like I am happy? How much longer will everyone try tying me to this world?

I notice that I have already finished the drink and ask for another one. I set the money on the counter as he places the drink infront of me. This is when I start to notice that I could do it, right here, right now. I could get myself drunk and then crash my car off a bridge. The idea makes me smile. I chug the drink faster, asking for another and another and another. Soon I'm beyond drunk. I giggle as I ask for another one. I pay for the drink and tip the good man. I feel a bit tipsy as I get up. I chug the drink and then walk out.

Once I get outside I notice how dark it is. This is perfect. A dark minded person, completing suicide on a perfect dark night. I look at my phone and then frown. I should have at least called Alex and cancelled on him. But I forgot to. I should have done alot of things, but why is this one thing making me feel so guilty?

I get in the car none the less, and drive off to this one cliff I know right out of Baltimore. I park my car off the road, and walk over to the cliffs. I call Alex real quickly, knowing that if I wait any longer I may just chicken out. After the fourth ring he picks up.

"What do you want?" Alex spats.

"Wanted to say sorry. I had a relaspe Alex okay? I'm sorry I was a no show." I try holding back as much emotion. I don't want to say goodbye until I'm seconds from jumping.

"Raincheck?" Alex asks.

I laugh. "I don't think I'll be around that long."

"Aubrey what's going on?" Alex asks all serious like.

"Haha. We all knew I was crazy. We all knew out of all five of us, I would die first. Well I just want to make sure no one takes my spot." I laugh and cry and yell.

"Where the hell are you Aubrey!" Alex asks with worried laced through his voice.

"At the moment hell, and by tomorrow morning I'm hoping to be in heaven." I reply.

"Aubrey, stop mind fucking me!" Alex yells.

"Like you fucking care what happens! No one fucking cares!" I cry.

"Aubrey, please. Just get in the car and drive home. Please Aubrey."

"Good-bye. I'm sorry for living so long." I say and step closed to the edge. I'm crying almost sobbing.

"Aubrey! Don't do it! Please if you understood. If you just understood how much I love you! I've been in love with you since I first met you in tenth grade. You were wearing a blue v-neck with a faded purple hoodie. You also wore a pair of black skinnie jeans. And you had on your sky blue converse on. On which you drew a mustache on." Alex tells me. "From that day on I promised myself, that I would do anything for you. Anything in the world. So please don't do this. Please I love you to much to let you go. Please Aubrey, please." Alex then pleaded. Wishing and hoping for me to listen.

"I've been a burden on your life since tenth grade. A burden on Rian and Jack since tenth grade. And a burden on Zack and Broyce since I was seven, This is farewell. I'm sorry." I say and take in hopefully my last breath.

"Turn around Aubrey! Turn around!" Alex yells.

I turn around, and there he is. Just pulling up his car. How did he find me? How the hell did he find me? I throw my phone down and turn back around. Crying now I lean forward. My arms out like birds wings. But before I can jump I feel Alex's arms wrap around me.

"I love you Aubrey Nicole Greence. No way in hell am I ever letting you go." Alex whispers into my ear, while pulling me away from the edge.

"I love you too Alexander William Gaskarth." I sob, meaning every single word I said.


End file.
